Do we say goodbye, or do we say hello?
by Aaronisme19
Summary: It's been 7 years since BD, life is good for bella, but what about Charlie? What will she do when she has to tell Charlie goodbye for good. What will happen when she makes a disison that will change all their lifes? Romance in later Chapters.
1. Sick

**Okay so I had this idea the other night when I was watching newmoon, I want to give you more info on it but then that will just ruin the story so just read to find out :)**

**Disclamer: Don't own Twillight.**

**P. S Thougts in Italics.**

It had been 7 years since the incident with the volturi, we moved away from forks 3 years before that. We moved to Alaska and are living with our extended family the Denali clan. Life was simple, we all lived together in a huge mansion Esme designed. It had 4 floors and 14 bedrooms along with 12 other rooms.

Edward and I lived on the top floor with Alice and Jasper. Nessie had her own room which was right across from her and so did Jake, tho his room was the last one down the hall. (Edward felt more comfortable with Jacob not so close to Renesmee at night) Nessie had reached her full growth already, she looked equivalent to a 20 year old.

She was beautiful and I think that's what scared Edward the most, he thought that as soon as this happened Jacob would get inappropriate thoughts when Nessie got fully grown, but all Jacob ever thought about was just being by her and talking with her. In his mind she was still very young despite her looks and he treated her like a young girl.

On the third floor was Emmit and Rosalie, Esme and Carlie, and Carmen and elizer. The bottom floor was left with Kate and Garret, along with Tanya and her mate ( and newest addition to the family) Nathan. Tanya found Nathan on the street after bring mugged. She changed him herself and ever since they were joined at the hip.

Charlie called me everyday and I visited him almost every weekend. Renesmee loved talking to her grandpa as she said. She was always grabbing the phone from me so she could talk. I felt bad for Charlie, he had no one to cook him food and he was always lonely. I really missed him. **(A/N slight change, Harry Clearwater never died so Charlie isint as close to sue)**

Billy called me a few days ago to tell me he was very worried about Charlie, he told me how depressed he was and how he just mopes around all day doing nothing. I tried calling him earlier but he said he was going to a doctors appointment. I sighed as I walked over to Edward, he was sitting by the piano playing Esme's song. I sat next to him and he kissed my cheek.

" Whats wrong love?"

" Nothing just worried about Charlie"

" He'll be fine, he probably just has the flu"

I didn't tell Edward about what billy told me because I didn't want him feeling bad about forcing me away from charlie.

" Maybe your right" I sighed again and kissed him on the lips.

" Looks like its just me and you...all alone." Edward smiled my favorite crooked smile and started kissing me again.

" Bella?" A husky voice boomed throut the house. I smiled against Edwards lips " Guess not" Just as I pulled away from Edward, Jacob came in the door way. " Oops my bad, did I interrupt?"

I shook my head and replied no its fine Jacob, what's up?

" Well I was wondering if I could take Nessie to go see a movie?"

" Sure see you later Jacob"

Edward tossed Jacob the keys to my farri, have fun he said with a smile. I couldint get over how close Edward and Jacob had become, sure they had fights every- once-in-a-while but other than that Edward treated Jacob like a brother or a son, while Jacob treated Edward almost like a second father or a brother. It still made my head spin, but with joy.

" Where were we?" Edward smiled again and pulled me close to him, I was just about to kiss him when the phone rang. _Ugh I can't catch a brake._

" Ugh I better go see who it is"

" No just let it go to vocie mail" Edward said as he kissed my neck, the kiss send ed chills down my spine and I almost gave in, until I remembered Charlie.

" It's probaly Charlie, I'll be right back"

I flew down stars at super human speed, the phone was barley into the third ring when I picked it up.

" Hello?" I answered

" Hey bells, can you please come over here, I um... I need to tell you something"

" O...ok, when you want me to come over?"

" If you can, can you please come right not, I don't care what you have to do, I.. i um really need you right now, you might want to bring Edward, but don't bring Nessie"

" Ok, I'll be right over, it'll take me an hour"

" Ok bells"

_What was that about? why wouldn't Charlie want Nessie to come? and why was he scared?_

I qucikly called to edward and he was by my side in a flash. " What's wrong Love?"

" Something happened with Charlie he wants me to come over right now, will you come with me?"

" yes, love, should I call Jacob?"

" no, let them have fun"

Esme I called, she also appeared by my side in a flash, pure worry on her face.

" Everything okay?"

" Can you please tell Jacob and Nessie that me and Edward will be back later?"

" of course dear"

"okay see you later"

I gave her a quick hug and took off running.

**1 hour later**

When I got to Charlies house It was a little over 5 o'clock, I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

" Come in" my father yelled.

As I walked in I saw Charlie sitting in his brown chair with a sad look on his face and a bottle of vodka in his hand.

I took a quick glance around to see some of the furniture on the ground, the house looked like a really big mess. Charlie caught my glance and sighed.

" Sorry it's so messy here I havent got a chance to clean"

" Are you okay dad?"

" No..."

Charlie looked like he was about to cry, Edward tensed beside me and grabed my hand.

" Dad, what's going on?"

" Bella, uum... I have Cancer... and It's Terminal"

**BAM! Cliffhanger haha ... I'll try to have the next chapter up soon :)**


	2. Where do we go from here?

**Okay sorry I haven't updated but I said it was going to be hard to maintain some sort of schedule haha.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight.**

Wha.. what? I gasped.

_No no no no, this can't be happening, this CAN'T BE HAPPENING!_

" I um spoke to the doctors, they said, they said that I have four months left"

_Oh God_

I started crying tearless sobs and fell to the floor causing the floor to brake under my knees. I glanced at charlie to see him give an odd expression before he to sunk to the floor and came to me, Edward who had been frozen as a statue since Charlie first muttered the words took a step back to let Charlie wrap his arms around me.

"Shh Bella, it's okay shh"

I found it ironic that Charlie was comforting me during his time of need then I felt horrible for making him worry about me when he was di- _No, no he will not die! I won't let him._

After a while of sitting on the floor holding each other I heard Charlie's stomach grumble.

" Dad your hungry, let me make you something to eat"

" No, it's okay I'll get it"

" No dad just relax on the couch and I'll cook you something, Edward can I talk to you in the kitchen please?"

We walked at human pace to the kitchen and I started pulling out items from the fridge trying to think of what to make. Edward came to my side at once and wrapped his arms around me.

" Are you okay?"

" No" I mumbled

Edward didn't say anything he kissed me a few times then said he wanted to talk to Charlie about something and he walked away.

I ended up making Charlie a cheese burger and fries. Before I turned to leave the kitchen I called to charlie to see what he wanted to drink he asked for a beer, I quickly opened it grabbed the food and headed over toward him.

We sat in silence while Charlie ate, Edward was rubbing my arm still trying to comfort me, it wasn't really working_, I don't think I've really processed all of this yet._

After Charlie was done, the air in the room changed to a sad one, I knew what was coming and I didn't want to start talking about this again.

" Okay Bella, so I was thinking maybe you can come vist again, maybe we can go through my will next week"

" No!, I mean are you sure, four months?"

" Yeah, look I know this must be hard for you, I've known about it for a week now, I'm not okay, but I've had some.. time to um come to some sort of terms, Maybe we can do that later on, and don't tell Nessie yet, I want to wait"

" Yeah, yeah sure what ever you want, I wont tell her I promise"

_I wonder why he didn't tell me sooner?_

After giving my father another hug and a kiss on the cheek.

%^*&()&^%$#%^&*()

The run back was all a daze to me Edward called Carlise while we ran and told him about everything that happened, Carlise said he would call Charlie and see where exactly the cancer was and start researching any other possibilities.

I tried not to think of the cancer, it hurt just to say or think it. _I don't know how I'm going to make it though this, losing my father? I thought I was prepared but I am far from it. I don't know how i'm going to do this._

Suddenly I was very glad Charlie didint want me to tell Nessie yet. _She deserves to be happy for a little while._

We were getting closer to the house and I skidded to a stop, Edward who was always a faster runner ran a few more feet ahead before stopping completely and coming back by my side.

" You okay love?"

" No" I choked out, How can I pretend every things okay, besides Carlise no one else knew what was going on. How can I pretend to be happy when my father was dying?

**HEHEHE Cliffhanger, don't worry you won't hang for long lol. **


	3. What do we do?

**Sorry for the long wait, I didn't have a computer so I couldn't write anything. I just got a new one so here is a new chapter **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. **

It had been a few days since Charlie dropped the bomb on me, I still wasn't able to process the whole thing and often spent time alone or with Edward in our room. Nessi and the rest of our family were worried about me but Edward and I decided not to tell anyone about Charlie for a while.

Carlisle has been researching crazily for some sort of cure for Charlie's cancer or at least some way to stop the process, but so far he hasn't been able to find anything. I shuddered as I lay on my bed holding onto Edward who was looking at me curiously. I sighed and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you" I mumbled.

"For?" he asked, "For being here with me, helping me cope" He nodded and kissed my forehead. "We will figure this out, don't worry about it" I sighed and looked at the clock " It's already 6 in Forks, Charlie said he would call me at 3" I said as I got up off the bed. " Maybe I should go check on him" I said already putting on my closes. Edward got up from the bed and did the same." Want me to come to?" he asked as he pulled on a dark gray long sleeved sweatshirt. "Sure " I said as I walked out of the door.

"Where are you going mom?" Nessi asked " I'm going to visit your grandpa, stay here okay" She nodded and went to sit next to Jacob on the couch. After saying goodbye to the rest of the family I quickly ran over to Charlie's.

As we got closer to Forks I slowed down my speed and Edward followed suite. The walk to Charlie's house took us about 15 minuets since we had to walk at a human pace; when we got there I knocked on the door.

"Maybe he's not here Love" Edward said form behind me. "No he has to be his car is still here and he said he didn't say anything about going somewhere last time we spoke" I knocked again but he didn't come to open the door. "Let me go see what's going on" Edward said as he walked around to the back towards my old room.

With my super human hearing I heard him land in my room from the window, I heard him walk out of my room and go down the stairs. Then the door opened quickly and Edward had a pained expression on his face, I walked in uncertainly. Edward led me over to the front room to see Charlie passed out on the couch with a can in beer in one hand and his gun in the other. The hand holding the gun was pointed to his head, his hand still on the trigger. I quickly pulled it out of his sleeping grasp and checked to see that it was loaded.

Charlie didn't stir he didn't even seem like he was breathing. "Edward I don't think he's breathing" I said as I took a step toward him. Edward came to my side quickly and pulled out his phone "We need to call Carlisle and an ambulance, you call the ambulance I'll call Carlisle" he said.

I quickly pulled out my cell phone and dialed 911 after talking to the operator he said he would send them over and I hung up. "Carlisle said he is on his way"

"Well what do we do?" I asked. "I still hear his heart beat, I say we wait for the ambulance to get here" he said as he took a step back form Charlie.

_Oh God he can't die, not now not like this_

**Sorry to leave it at this but I have no idea where I'm going with this. To tell you the truth I'm not even into Twilight anymore. Sorry if the chapter sucked I just don't know what to do with it. I might put it up for adoption so PM if interested. **


	4. A new hope

**Just wanted to say sorry all the grammatical errors and the poorly done chapter. I've redone it to try and do it justice. **

**Special thanks to EdwardCullen1901 who pointed out my mistakes. **

**Also I just wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed or followed this story. Even though my hearts not really in the story anymore I'll try and make you guys proud with it. J**

**Shout out to all my reviewers so special thank you to: Birdy, Puppy, LordXeenTheGreat, Twillightgirl1724 and EdwardCullen1901**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Sorry. **

The minuets felt like hours as we waited for the ambulance to arrive, my stone cold hands clutched onto Charles shirt as if they were the only things keeping him from dying. Edward looked at me worriedly but I just sat there frozen in place as we waited.

Suddenly a few streets down I heard the start of sirens. I couldn't help but feel somewhere deep in my cold dead heart: a new hope.

_He'll be okay…He'll be okay_ I chanted over and over in my head fiercely.

"The waiting is over dad, were going to make it though this" I whispered as the paramedics burst through the door and rushed over to Charlie who was still unconscious.

Edward pulled me aside gently and I wrapped my arms around him. Sobbing into his shoulder while he whispered in my ear that everything would be all right.

"Let them do their work Bella" he said softly into my ear.

The paramedics asked Edward questions because I was too busy watching Charlie's lifeless body to answer. Soon they had Charlie on a stretcher and out into the ambulance.

"Go to Charlie. I'll wait for Carlisle "he said encouragingly. I nodded still not able to use my voice yet and got into the ambulance.

Edward gave me a quick kiss on my cheek that usually would send my head spinning as I rushed to his lips for more. Instead all I could focus on was the site of my father's lifeless body being put on a stretcher and in the ambulance truck.

I quickly walked over to the ambulance and without a word got on, holding my father's hand the entire time while trying to convince myself he would be okay.

**20 minutes later:**

As we neared the hospital I tightened my hold on Charlie's hand. On the way there the paramedic attached an IV and attached a mini heart monitor. He was a little older than me with short black hair and green eyes. He gave me a sad smile and gave my shoulder a slight squeeze, I was glad I wore a sweater because he would have noticed how cold I was.

" This is all we can do for now, were nearing the hospital " I nodded before looking back at my father who still had the lifeless expression on his face.

The Truck suddenly stopped pulling me out of my train of thoughts as the back doors opened and Charlie was rushed out of the truck and into the awaiting hospital. I hosted myself off the truck and landed with a thud on the ground.

As I was walking into the hospital I felt something wet slide down my cheek. Shocked at the feeling I haven't felt since my death I looked up at the sky to realize it was an angry gray with rain falling down like angry tears from the heavens.

After wiping a hand across my face I walked quickly into the hospital to see Charlie being whisked down another hall and out of site. An older nurse with orange-gray hair smiled at me sadly as she gave me a clipboard for paperwork. Sighing to myself I filled out the papers glad to have my mind working on something of than my fathers impending doom.

All to soon it seemed I was finished with the papers and once again I found my mind going crazy with questions about weather or not Charlie was dead. I tried to listen closely for his heartbeat but there were so many and not to mention momotors that I couldn't figure out where he was or how he was doing.

As I sat on a chair looking at the pristine white walls all hospitals seem to have I felt a hand on my shoulder, as I looked up I saw it was the nurse from before. "Your father is stable Mrs. Cullen, we'd like to run a few test. The doctor will be with you soon"

I nodded numbly and the nurse walked away. Soon after I felt someone pull me close I closed my eyes at the embrace and inhaled the familiar but wonderful sent of my husband.

"How's he doing?" Edward asked in my ear.

"They said they were going to run a few test" I answered distractedly as the doctor who took my father into another room came by.

Carlisle gave him a nod before going to the nurse's desk. "Aha Mr. Cullen how nice of you to be here" he added with a smile.

"Yes it feels good to be back, I was wondering if I could have a look at Mr. Swan by any chance."

"Of course he's just down the hall, Sandy will show you the way"

Carlisle nodded before following the orange haired nurse. After Carlisle walked away the doctor returned his attention to me before frowning slightly.

"Have a seat" he said. I sat feeling numb about the whole ordeal.

With a sigh the doctor ran a hair though his dark hair, I faintly noticed the streaks of gray running throughout the hair line. He looked to be in his late 30's with dark blue eyes and a scar on his cheek.

He gave me a tired smile before delivering the news.

"It looks like your fathers cancer is spreading, I don't think he's going to last the month"

As he said the words my dead heart felt even deader than before. It was as if my whole body seemed to freeze. My mind drifted off into a deep space leaving me and my body alone to deal with the news. I couldn't speak. Thoughts ran rabid in my head as I fought for some sort of control over my body.

_Oh God. A month, that's it! How am I going to tell Nessi and everyone else? What am I going to do? I can't lose my dad. I can't. I won't._

Suddenly an idea flickered in my head I smiled at the doctor sadly "If you will excuse me I would like to have a word with my husband for a moment"

He nodded and walked away.

"Edward, Can I talk to you?"

"What is it love?" he asked his eyes filled with uncertainly as he looked at my hopeful expression.

"Can we change my dad?" I asked suddenly jumping the gun.

"What?" He said outraged. "Bella do you want to dam your father for all eternity?" he asked.

I quickly shot him a glare with as much anger as I could muster.

"Think about what you're saying" he reasoned.

"I can't lose him Edward, I can't" I sobbed silently as he eloped me in his arms. I felt him sigh into my hair. "Bella this is part of being a vampire, saying goodbye to our love ones" he said sadly.

"I can't say goodbye to Charlie" I said firmly.

"Bella what about your mom, what will you do when that time comes?" I stiffened I did not want to think about that at the moment but a part of me already knew she would chose to stay human. She has and still is living a wonderful live. I think she's one of those people who view death as a next great adventure.

Charlie though Charlie was a different story. Charlie has been living a pretty boring and bad existence, maybe with this new chance he can finally live.

"Charlie's different though, I mean look at his life. Married young, In a small town, devoiced. Alone." I gulped. "It would do him good to finally be able to live" I pleaded.

Edward kissed me on the forehead softly.

"I'll talk to Carlisle" he said.

"Oh I heard it and I agree with Bella, however I think we need to discuss this with Charlie first" Carlisle said seeming to pop out of nowhere. I smiled at him and he gave me a hug.

A day after Charlie was let out of the hospital, I told Charlie he would be staying with me in the Cullen's since he would be getting weaker. He didn't object.

As we got to the house we made sure Charlie got situated. When he fell asleep we all discussed that we would talk to him the next day.

As the sun arose I couldn't help but feel helpful. I smiled as Edward kissed my neck tenderly. I responded by kissing him on the lips with as much passion as I could muster. He smiled and together we enjoyed a few joyous and pleasureful hours together.

That morning after Charlie and Jacob had breakfast we decided we would talk.

"Jacob can you take Nessie outside for a little bit" Jacob nodded knowing what was going on and grabbed Neisse's hand leading her outside.

As agreed the only people talking to Charlie would be me, Edward, And Carlisle.

"Dad, can we talk to you for a second?"

**I promise to go back and re-do the other chapters as soon as I can**


	5. A new life for me

**Hey everyone be sure to re-read the chapter before this. I went back and redid it so check that one out first! Please review I would love your input.**

**Disclamer: I do not own Twillight. **

Charlie nodded "Sure Bells" he said in a weak voice which filled me with pain. It was hard hearing him say the familiar fraze but this time in a weaker state. I was actually glad I couldn't cry because I don't think I would have been able to stop if I did.

Edward, Carlisle and I lead Charlie into Carlisle privet office. After closing the door Carlisle went over to sit behind his desk, Charlie sat in the chair across from him. Edward leaned against the bookcase next to Carlisle and I took the chair next to Charlie.

All eyes were on me so I decided to make the first move.

"Um Charlie..er..Dad. Do you remember how Jacob said that we were different? Do you remember what he showed you?"

Charlie gulped and I heard his heart speed up. "Yeah I do Bells…why?"

Carlisle cleared is thought "If I may Mr. Swan?" My father nodded and Carlisle began. "Do you believe in the supernatural Mr. Swan?"

"What do you mean like ghosts and um wizards?" Charlie supplied.

Carlisle smiled "Yes but more like vampires "

Charlie gulped "I guess" he said softly.

"Mr. Swan I have an offer for you. It would increase your life span dramatically and you will be stronger than you ever were before. Mr. Swan, I'm offering you a new life. A chance to actually live."

Carlisle's voice got soft at the end of his speech, I knew he was trying to reason with himself for what he was doing and I felt bad for making him lure my father in. But I couldn't lose my father, he deserved to live.

Charlie looked at me with a confused look on his face. After a moment he started looking around the room and Edward, Carlisle and I and soon a look of realization overcame his features.

"You….your vampires" he said his voice barley a whisper.

Carlisle nodded "Yes we all are, yes even your daughter" Carlisle added as Charlie's eyes landed on me "We are not like most however, we live off of animal blood. We would never harm a human"

Charlie nodded taking another gulp of air.

"So what I can never die, the cancer would have went away?"

"Yes, if you chose to make the change your present illness will vanish. You will be faster, stronger and smarter than you ever were. But Charlie I must also tell you that during the first year especially you will be plagued by a terrible hunger or rather thirst for blood. However as the years go by you will have learned to control that thirst. On second thought it may not be so bad if you're anything like your daughter here"

I smiled slightly as Charlie gave me a questioning look "For some odd reason I can control my thirst pretty well" I said meekly.

Charlie gave me a slight smile "Can I have a moment alone with my daughter?"

"Of course, Edward come" No longer having to hide from Charlie anymore Edward and Carlisle stood from their seats and in a blink of an eye (Or rather Charlie's) they were gone.

Charlie had a shocked look on his face but after a moment calmed down.

"So Bella is this what you want?" he asked after a pregnant moment.

"I just want you to be happy dad; I want you to actually live." He made a move to interrupt but I stopped him with my hand "Look I know you think you did but honestly after mom left you just went into a routine. You never left forks. You never traveled, you never found love, and you never seemed happy dad"

Charlie hung is head "I didn't think I was that obvious, I tried as hard as I could to just focus on you and forget everything else. The pain is always there Bella I'm not gonna lie. There was so much I wanted to do and see but then your mom well she left and I didn't know what to do or how to do it"

Charlie stopped talking and just kept his head down.

"Dad if you do this you'll get a second chance, maybe even find someone" I said as I got off my chair and crouched down next to him.

A ghost a smile toughed his lips.

"Okay Bella. I'll do it, for you"

I shook my head.

"No you need to see if this is what you want, is it?"

"Fine Bella I'll do it….for me"

**Hope you enjoy the chapter, it was rather hard I admit. Next up Charlie's P.O.V then on with some romance  
**

**Please review and tell me what you think. **


	6. Say goodbye to your Humanity

**Sorry for the long wait guys, my computer broke on top I have a whole lot of other things going on. But no matter I am here now and eager to continue this story. **

**This is a little long so please feel free to take a brake while reading. **

**P.S: Thoughts in Italics**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, sorry. **

It had been three days since I had agreed to become a vampire. Carlisle thought it would be helpful to give me a few days to rest before I had to go though the agonizing experience of the change.

I was nervous of course but I knew if I did this I would actually get to live and do the things I've always wanted to do. Sighing to myself I realized it was almost 12 o'clock in the afternoon. It seems I was lying in bed all day.

I noticed that as the cancer started spreading it's been taking me a lot longer then usual to actually wake up. Grunting I forced myself to my feet and stood on wobbly legs. After putting on some clothes which consisted of a pair of black jogging pants and a red and black flannel button down, I slowly made my way down the stairs.

As I got off the last step I saw Edward, Bella and Dr. Carlisle sitting on the couch all looking at me with interest. I looked at them wearily hoping not to show any nervousness. "So… are we ready?" I whispered. "Do you want anything before? Maybe food or anything?" Bella asked.

I looked to the ground with my hands in my pockets as I thought about what I wanted. There was something I wanted but I wasn't sure if I should. _Your __dying __anyway __might __as __well __go __for __it._Snorting to myself I grinned slightly "I want a 6 pack of beer and a pack of cigarettes" I announced to the room.

Edward grinned slightly as if approving of my choice while Bella looked appalled. "Are you sure dad?" "Of course I'm sure Bella, I might as well enjoy my last day as….as a human." As a man, enjoying a beer and come cigarettes.

" Jasper, get the man what he wants" Edward said to seemingly no one. Suddenly a young man with long blond hair appeared. " I'll be back with your things in 5 minuets Chief Swan" he announced with a slight Texan accent. In a blink of an eye he was gone.

"Who was that?" I asked "That is Jasper, Alice's um husband" Edward answered.

_Oh __so __she__'__s __married, __of __course __she __is._I grumbled to myself. Sighing mentally I went to sit in the empty recliner chair and quickly got lost in my thoughts. Soon enough Jasper came back handing me a pack of Newports and a 6 pack of Heineken. "Thank you" I grinned as I took the bag and headed outside to sit on the porch.

Slowly I opened the pack of squares inhaling the amazing scent of tobacco. Feeling a chill run down my back I quickly popped the cig in my mouth and pulled out a match I had on me. Being the show off I am I decided to light it off my shoe. _I __can__'__t __believe __I __can __still __do __that_ I mused as I brought the flame up to the cig and lit it. As the smoke filled my lungs I couldn't help but smile. _Now __this __is __a __good __way __to __die._

Ever so slowly I let out the smoke making smoke rings with my mouth before taking another puff and reaching for a beer. Suddenly the door opening signaling that someone was there with me. Not feeling like turning around I continued to drink my beer and smoke my cig. "A good way to die indeed" Edward announced. I nodded; I already knew he could read my mine since Bella told me. "What do you want? I asked mid puff.

"I just want to apologize for everything I've done to you and your daughter; I honestly should have stood away from her the moment I laid eyes on her but I just…I just…"

"Couldn't; you just couldn't stay away" I finished with a sad smile.

"I know all about that, her mother. Boy I should have stayed away from her, I had a college scholarship to Michigan State but I decided to let that all go and marry the girl of my dreams"

My beer was almost done and my cigarette was gone. Sighing to myself I pulled out another and began my attack on the next cancer stick. Edward silently sat next to me, I offered him a cig and he quietly declined. "Suite yourself, more for me I guess" I said with a shrug as I looked out to the trees admiring the beauty of nature.

" By the way" I looked to Edward out of the corner of my eyes who seemed to be examining the grain of wood on the stairs intently " your apology is accepted, I get it, you guys are in love and there was nothing I could ever do to change that. I learned that a while ago" I was going to tell him about the screaming and crying Bella did during those days he was gone. Or how frustrated it was to know I couldn't protect my daughter or how she just let him back into her life with out so much as a punch or slap; but I didn't clearly the beer and cigarettes were getting to me because all I wanted to do was sleep.

"Thanks, for accepting I mean." Edward said awkwardly. "No problem." I answered opining another beer as I held the cig in my mouth. "Do you plan to finish all this, before you …" I nodded "Yeah, I do" Edward nodded slightly before getting up and going inside. I think he knew I needed to be alone. Saying goodbye to your humanity is a very hard and independent thing to do.

As I continued to devour the pack of cigarettes and cans of beer I couldn't help but think back on my life so far; all the pain, all the hurt, the disappointment. It just all sprang up into the forefront of my mind. I remembered meeting Renee all those years ago in high school, asking for a date, our first kiss, proposing, having Bella. Admittedly not all moments with Renee were bad, in fact it was amazing. When she left, well that's when things got tough.

I remember waking up one day a smile on my face as the sun warmed my body. Turning around I expected to see my beautiful wife by my side, I was going to pull her close in my arms and watch her sleep for a while. However when I turned around she was no where to be found, I found a note and some papers on the pillow beside me, I picked up the note trying to read it though the fogginess of my brain when I finally came too I read it.

Dear Charlie,

I'm sorry for what I'm about to say, I know this will hurt but I've been hurting for a while and if I don't do this I will always hurt. I am sorry Charlie but I had to leave, I just can't stay here in Forks. Out marriage is just not working out and I felt like I was drowning. I've left and took my daughter Bella with me, you won't find us so don't try looking; I will call you in a few months if you would like to see Bella. The papers below are divorce papers Charlie, my signature is already signed all you need to do is put your own and send it to my lawyer who's contact info is attached. I don't want anything from you, all I want is to be free and live my life to the fullest. Look, Charlie you deserve someone who actually cares about you and will be there for you. I'm not that girl and I never have been, I'm sorry Charlie.

Love,

Renee

I had to read the note at least three or four times before I could come to my senses. I quickly jumped out of the bed causing the papers to fall to the floor and scanned the house for my wife and daughter. I tried to tell myself it was all a cruel joke and Renee would be there with Bella laughing at me. I ran though the house like a madman running things over blindingly crashing into the walls. As I ran down the steps I saw the door was still open I ran out the fact that I had my shirt off forgotten and searched wildly for any sign of them. Finding none I sat upon the steps in a blank haze, frozen with depression and loss. Renee's words ran over and over in my head in a sick demented song of sorts, reminding me of all I lost.

The sun fell away quickly and it began to rain, I didn't care. I sat getting drenched just staring into nothing. Billy came by a little while late, I don't know how long I was on the step or what time it was. He jogged over; "Oh Charlie, I'm so sorry" He helped me up and made me take a warm shower. After I got all settled into new clothes he handed me a beer and we sat and watched the game. We didn't talk about Renee, I didn't ask him how he knew what happened or why she left.

Alcohol became my best friend. As did cigarettes, I spent a whole month in my house never really eating or doing anything. Billy came by allot then just to make sure I was ok, I took a leave of absence from my job and stopped doing anything. I signed the papers and didn't hear from Renee for months. One day she called to see how I was doing, I lied of course and said I was fine. She said she would come by with Bella in a few weeks.

I quickly got my act together, I went back to work, cleaned the house, and cleaned myself (Although I kept the mustache). I thought if I showed Renee I changed she'd come back. When she came over we hardly talked and I just focused on Bella. Then just like that they left again, I tried to talk Renee into coming back to me, even begged her. She gave me a teary smile and said no. I lived my life in a rut, content with a schedule, everything planed so that there would be no more unexpected surprises, no mistakes. Just routine.

When Bella came to live with me it was if a new light shined down on me. I figured I could live though my daughter, make sure she was ok, and protect her. Then she met him and the rest is history of course, I don't really know what they've been though and I honestly don't want to know. It was heaven when it was just me and her, even if she didn't feel that way, I lived though every smile and laugh. I held her when she screams her head off for her lost love, and I died a little when she ran away, both times.

That night, when she left after her date with Edward, the depression came back. I remembered getting a beer out of the fridge and getting my gun out from the holster and putting it to my head with a content sigh. I figured I might as well die because obviously I sucked at everything; I was a bad father, a bad husband. I almost pulled the trigger too, but something stopped me. I can't even identify what it was but I put the gun back and got some more beer.

Now looking at the life I led. I don't even know how I put up with it. Why didn't I burn that dam house down? Why didn't I just leave and never come back? Sighing to myself I realized I was on my last beer and cigarette. Quickly finishing both I entered the house and squared my shoulders and announced to the empty room. "I'm ready"

**Hope you liked it, I thought before Charlie changed we should get his prospective on things. Anyway please review!**


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